Monday, March 28, 2011
Waking up as a statement makes me think of the dreadful days following my Mum's cancer diagnosis. Every morning waking up only to be hit by the realisation that I was living in a new much darker reality. My Mum was sick, dying, and there was nothing (beyond a miracle) that would save her life here on Earth. Nausea and dread were my feelings everyday.
Now, 6 years after her death, I no longer experience these feelings. I (mostly) wake up filled with joy. Maybe it is my precious three month olds grins from the crook of my arm, or knowing I get to wake up next to my lovely husband and then spend another day living my dream with my four children. Maybe it is having a greater appreciation for life. Life is short and so precious, and I am blessed with knowing this at a younger age than many through the loss of a parent. That said, if I could trade this knowledge to have her back here, healthy and well, I would. I want to live my life awake. Knowing that I have lived, truly lived each and every day, no matter how many days I get.